Dating Over Fifty?
I was quite scared to tackle this article, unsure on whether I could give an opinion on dating after fifty when I am in fact 30 years young. This attitude is actually part of the problem, fifty is not an alien concept, a different race or really any different to 40, 45 or 30 .The men and women I have met in their fifties have the same wishes, dreams, ambitions and search criteria as their younger and older counterparts.
When I took over Elegant I consciously took out most of the older references, the inoffensive magnolia branding that we had which was meant to appeal to staid silver surfers, I instead went with branding which I feel to be slick, young and fresh. The over fifties don’t need special branding, advertising in saga or less technology driven marketing, over fifty now isn’t a different market. I find it amusing that even men and women who are over fifty automatically tell me they feel they act younger than their counterparts and need younger partners. What they don’t seem to realise is that there are loads of people who are over fifty who are fabulous, attractive, outgoing, adventurous and equally youthful.
I think the media are in some ways to blame for this feeling of being over the hill at fifty, this week I was approached by Hat Trick , ITV, they wanted me to publish some information about a dating programme they launch next year, criteria given was 25-50 age range. I queried it by email and they took the age restrictions off. All it took was for me to stand up and say, why? Turns out they hadn’t really thought over fifties would be interested.
Why should you become invisible over fifty?
It would be easy to completely blame the media but that would be such a cop out, dating and introduction sites can be equally dismissive of this market. I take men and women of all ages as long as I feel I can offer a service, I now find when women of 50, 60 or 70 call they start by apologising about their age. I know this is in part due to other agencies turning away people over 50 as they are harder to match. The over fifties are harder to match as they don’t join up as quickly, this is largely due to them thinking they are too old. I don’t think fifty is old.
People in their fifties twenty years ago would probably have been grandparents, we used to get married earlier, have children earlier and have more traditional male and female roles .The ladies and gents I meet in their early fifties are now more likely to be parents of pre teens than grandparents.
Women and men are likely now to have had more relationships when they are fifty than they would have had twenty years ago. Marriages aren’t lasting as long anymore and people have often been married more than once. This changing face of fifty is interesting and comes with diverse stories and backgrounds. Increasingly I can’t tell that people are over fifty, which makes the passport driving licence check invaluable. I have women and men who are gorgeous, stylish, professional and great company, some are over fifty but that doesn’t define who they are.
I can tell you from speaking to men and women in their fifties the feelings are the exact same now as they were in their twenties, the baggage might be different but the feelings are the same. First date nerves, body insecurities, not knowing what to wear, where to go how to act, it doesn’t get any easier with age. There are many advantages to being older the conversation tends to be interesting and diverse, often over fifties have more disposable income and more disposable time, there’s also a brilliant quiet confidence in the over fifties a sense of knowing who you are and what you want from life.
My members who are over fifty tend to find successful matches quicker than their younger counterparts as they are more assertive with me, happier to tell me what they don’t want and unlikely to waste time with if buts and maybes. These are men and women who are vibrant, confident and happy in their own company, men and women who have loving and supportive families, large groups of friends, great lives all they are looking for is someone to enhance their already great lives.
I would love it if more over fifties joined elegant I am amazed daily by the wonderful people I meet. I have a number of people waiting for their Mr or Mrs Right, and some of them are over fifty. I will continue to welcome members as long as they want to join, regardless of age, and having met so many brilliant people I feel very optimistic about my later life.
I am loving my thirties; I’m looking forward to my forties and definitely not afraid of my fifties and beyond.