Why Sex and The City should stay fictional.
I love Sex and The City, in particular Samantha, she always had such a glamorous life juggling life, lovers and Loubitons with style individuality and panache. It made great for television wondering who she would end up with, or how often and what she would wear.
There is now a growing trend of dating like Samantha and friends, dating more than one person at a time and keeping your options open. I really dislike this move from fanciful to reality, yes it’s great watching drama unfold on the television but I really wouldn’t want my life to be that dramatic.
I don’t understand why it would appeal to men and women to use people in this way. I would rather be celibate than juggle meaningless males. I have heard expressions like “fuckbuddy” and FWP which is Friend with privileges I am hoping I don’t sound a prude but I find the concept abhorrent.
Whilst you are using this person or persons for physical gratification or to quell the loneliness you aren’t actually allowing yourself enough self-respect to find a partner who will value your company beyond the bedroom. I don’t think it is healthy to have more than one partner at any given time; at best it makes you a cheat and at worst a gigolo or lady of the night.
We now live in a society of immediacy, if we want something now we need to have it yesterday with bells on. If we waited for things we would have more anticipation, more enjoyment of the moment and more appreciation of the experience.
Structure brings some of the old courtship back to relationships, they have both been introduced by me so have a mutual friend, the man calls the lady, and they initially flirt over the phone. At this point they haven’t seen even a photo so the flirtation and conversation is based on what they know of each other’s profiles and what I have told them about each other.
Because they need to arrange a proper meeting in a public place they normally go for a lovely meal out together, this is great as I think people don’t actually go out for intimate meals as much now. In normal circumstances you perhaps meet at a bar sometimes kissing or more that night, perhaps you wake up together the next morning? But where in that scenario is the door held open for you, where do you flirt and have a real conversation? Where is the opportunity to dress up and eat in a lovely restaurant? Normally couples get on so well they discuss their second date at the end of their first date, this is fun and some dates have been inspired, there’s an element of competition, of wanting to impress each other.
With my service it’s a bit like the L’Oreal advert, I have told both partners that they are “worth it” what follows is a lovely courtship. These guidelines and traditional approach mean keeping people as friends is far easier and less complicated too. After 4 evenings together you may realise you have loads in common but no real attraction, that’s fine, you can stay friends, you just get to be real friends without tawdry flashbacks of drunken behaviour, without worrying that one of you still fancies the other.
I think we should bring back Exclusivity, respect and courtship, the days of laddettes and lager are over , the dating world needs a bit of class.