Are you a Yo-Yo dater?
Everyone knows at least one couple who are as often on as they are off, lurching from very tightly wound together to pushed apart as far as the string will take them before they are pulled back together, only to release each other again. Much like Yo-Yo dieting Yo-Yo lovers are stuck in a cycle which is unhealthy. The string that holds them may be loneliness, desperation, lust, friendship, shared history, in some cases children and worryingly sometimes it’s just habit or alcohol. Whatever the tie that binds them if they are as often apart as together it is a destructive relationship in which both partner must learn to live without pulling the other back in.
When we talk of Yo-Yo dieting we think of lifestyle changes, learning to eat healthily and life long changes in behaviour. The same applies to dating, you need to look at what brings you back to a relationship that isn’t right, what is it that keeps you together and what is it that forces you apart?
Like chocolate and other tasty things often it is the first reconciliation a huge burst of energy that is then followed by a depressing crash in good energy. You can move to get a moral high by turning away from the instant fix and hankering after something that’s better for you, those good endorphins that are released when you go for a run or have a night in with the girls; these are highs that will last longer and help build your confidence.
Like weight gain you have spent a lifetime dating badly and it may be that it takes a long time to change your mindset and break the cycle, if you slip up and fall back into an unhealthy relationship or all too familiar bed don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself and move on. Admitting something is wrong and making positive changes won’t always be the easiest option but will lead to long term happiness.
If you have been on and off for years make a positive step away and break the cycle, try spending time on your own really discovering how great your own company is and if you and your partner really are destined to be joined together this time apart will only strengthen the bond and break some of the negative patterns. When you feel the familiar pull to come racing back, just stop: look at the strings that join you and ask if you really want to keep playing the Yo-Yo game.